Whatever drug you can think of that makes you have tunnel vision to the outside world and all you see is what you want out of a situation with speed, and whatever it is that that drug gives you, I think naturally my dad and I have a lot of that, ESPECIALLY when we're angry. Ive heard stories about him

And I lose myself pretty easy sometimes. I used to love the idea of being a dad myself someday but truthfully i cant raise the piece of shit. I dunno what a father is and i used to think that would fuel some type of flame to give him what i never had. But really? How in the fuck am i supposed to do that when i can barely contain my shit? I dont deserve to bring another child's unasked for life onto this planet and then fuck it up more with inexperience plus mental abuse. He'll grow up to write faggot blogs and tell his friends how his dad doesnt treat him very well

I can hardly look past ten minutes within my anger and realize that things might be better in a day if i sit the fuck back and let people waddle in their shitty feelings. I can hardly put my cards down and say fuck it i lost. How IN THE FUCK AM I supposed to raise a goddamn child? Fuck a family, I dont deserve to have one